I call what I have, the curse of the lazy ambitious person (many people I know have it), I want to do well and I know that I can, but I'm too lazy to ever get on with it. I then hate myself for not working hard enough. I get myself into this vicious circle of self disappointment, which in turn makes me less likely to get off my bum and do some work!
But I'm not going to sit here and whine about my problems, I am not often a self pitying person and I certainly don't appreciate the trait it in others. I am known in my house for giving the honest sometimes harsh truth, usually involving phrases like 'man up' and 'just get on with it'. So this post is mainly for myself, telling myself, and others like me, to start being more proactive and to grasp every opportunity that comes my way, instead of thinking 'I can't be arsed!' I am trying to loose the lazy part from my curse and instead just be ambitious!